I love board games, I do. But I am also a person of habits. I like watching a movie or TV show over and over again. It gives me comfort knowing what to expect, sue me. The same applies to board games. Ten games of Terraforming Mars in one week? No problem. If I could just leave Orléans lying on the table for days, it would be no problem for me.
Having a 9-month old putting everything on his path into his mouth might be the only reason not to. However, there was a time when I had no idea how to colonialize Mars or develop a medieval French region. I had to learn sometime. In which I, habitually off course, go through the following stages.
WHY do you always want to play a new game. When did I get dragged into this out-of-control hobby of yours? It’s all your fault. You should be the happiest man alive having a girlfriend who plays that many games with you a week (ánd likes football). No. This time I’m not letting you drag me in. I won’t.
Okay, I will play. But only if I can choose the music we play. Or have my phone next to me so I can check Facebook when your turns take too long. And don’t expect me to smile or have a good time. I’m doing this for you and only for you. Remember that next time I want to watch a romantic movie.
No. There was no smile there. I’m still hating this game very, very much. Could not care less that my strategy seems better than yours. And don’t get me started on the mechanisms I hate so much. You think you can lure me in because the game has a map. I hate maps. Or worker placement. Or Eurogames for that matter.
What will I do during my next turn? I see you’re focussing on the one track to earn your points. How can I beat that. What will be my next move. And the one after that. And after that. There you have it. I can no longer deny it. I love board games. And I love how you almost always know what games I like. Tactical, slightly complicated or at least clever little games.
It’s on. Please, please can we play again? Why do we even pack up all those little pieces, just leave it on the table (oh no, we can’t, the baby). Are you going to play with friends tonight? And you are going to play OUR game? You might as well cheat. Okay, go. I go watch a romantic movie. Not a chance you will soon be watching that with me, knowing you don’t need to bribe me. I will play anyway.